I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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