My room smells like vodka and shame
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize