I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.