I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...