She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo