hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER