I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.