Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize