they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
