Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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