Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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