He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
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please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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