How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
