Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
