forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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