Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
