you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
