but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize