I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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