Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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