Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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