I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices