names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He keeps bees of course he's weird
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...