He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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