Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
