You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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