Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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