You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
