just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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