Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I look better un-naked...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".