When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead