i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's blow job season.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want to make out with him forever
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences