Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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