how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize