So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
