One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
