Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?