let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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