dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize