At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went