don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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