I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
