iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize