Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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