erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?