dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette