Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!