it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What a dumb baby whore.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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