y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize