I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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