my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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