you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
