I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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