I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just took my morning after pill in the library
is wine microwaveable?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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