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New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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