happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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