idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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