I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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