Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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